How to Camouflage in China

As previously mentioned, I am bigger than the average Chinese person. My stature is something to gawk at. And gawk they will. It's pretty funny actually. I definitely catch people staring. Full wide-eyed stare. Except when you catch people staring, they don't even try to pretend they weren't. In fact, they don't even look away. No hello, no smile, just a continued stare. I have taken to saying "nihao" and waving or smiling. This often doesn't even get a response. I have to say, even for a leo, the level of attention can be a bit overwhelming. I definitely stand out in a crowd. As seen below, I am waiting in the cafeteria line up at school. Definitely not fitting in. 

Then, one day at the mall, and extraordinary opportunity arose: I realized that my brightly coloured floral dresses were almost a perfect match with the gaudy fake flowers and trees. So far, it appears to be my best option for fitting in. Almost perfect height and colour match. 

Vehicles of the Revolution...

If there's one thing that China does better than Canada, I think it might be bicycles. (And Chinese food.) I know this is a bold statement and I am prepared to back it up with both anecdotal and photographic evidence. What I love about the streets of Weifang, is that they are packed full of bicycles and every incarnation thereof: the standard two-wheeler, the electric bike, the "wheelbarrow bike" or the "bucket bike" as I have dubbed them, the scooter, the trailer-pulling bike, and of course the uncategorizable contraption bikes. In addition, it's more than common to see any kind of the aforementioned fully loaded with passengers (young and old), vegetables, baskets, garbage, bottles, household supplies and/or all of the above.

I don't know my way around China enough to make broad sweeping generalizations about the state of politics, art, society, etc. Of course, I am going to do it anyways. I think the people of China are most creative and innovative with their use of bikes. I am not sure how to explain this properly. Two conversations I've had with co-teachers come to mind. We were trying to cross one of the always hectic streets, marvelling at the continual rhythm and counter-intuitive (for the Westerner) logic of traffic, and someone said something to the effect of "for a country that has such restricted freedoms on a broader scale, in their everyday lives there are a lot more freedoms than we have at home." We were talking about the fact that you can just ride a bike without a helmet while carrying your infant and a 20 kilo load of onions. Just now as I write this from one of the more prestigious locations in Weifang (Yes Starbucks and try to save your judgements for a later blog about the miracles of transnational corporations), I saw some youth parading down the street with placards. Excited, I exclaim "Oooh - a protest!" and without turning his head, co-teacher Colin says "there's no way that's a protest, they would get arrested." Good point, still new here, still new here... I know am rambling.  I will try to put it all together: Sure, you can't protest. Information is seriously controlled. Wealth is restricted. (Wait, this sounds a lot like Canada?) But, hell, you can ride whatever kind of bike you want, pack as many people as you want onto it, schlep your produce around, and there's no way you'll get a ticket for not wearing a helmet or having a bell or blowing a red light. It's beautiful.

Did I mention that you don't have to be a hipster? Maybe that's actually my favourite part. Bicycles aren't about being hip. You don't have to have a Campagnolo and park it outside of Habit  while you write in your Moleskine. You just have to get your family to work and school and then get your groceries home. Oh, and you're not trying to save the planet either, it's just cheaper. In fact, you have the same bike your grandparents had. And not because it's vintage, because it still works. And you're not wearing an overpriced silk-screened T-shirt with a bike on it either.

A while back my dear friend, Sailor Nick, and I were talking about humankind's greatest inventions. We agreed that the bicycle and the wheelbarrow are definitely in the top ten. My dad has always said he doesn't trust people that don't eat a lot. I apply the similar logic to cycling; how could you not trust someone riding a bike? And, let's consult Homer G Wells; "Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race."


When you add it all up, China is definitely getting this one right.

Wo yao zhige...

Let's talk a bit about food. As a warning to you all, this might turn into a food blog. I really, really, really love food. Overwhelming impression thus far: delicious with a whole lota' meat, spice, oil, and a fair bit of vegetables but certainly not enough. 

What I, and every other foreigner, appreciate is that the Chinese tend to believe in depicting the food on the menu. This means you can point to the picture or, in some cases, you can just point straight to the food... Let me explain one of the first official meals I had in China. We all (teacher pose) went out to a fancier restaurant where you went into the menu room and pointed out the food that you want: the actual food. This applied in the case of meat. You can actually point out the live creatures. Vegetables were displayed in attractive bouquets or tidy piles. Let's take a look:

 Snails on the rocks?

Or, perhaps you would like some halibut?

Fresh vegetables?

Insects? Seafood? Whatever tickles your fancy...

Did I mention that the room was filled with mirrors ? Yes, you can inspect your food from all angles before consuming...

Once you have ordered all your food by pointing and saying "wo yao zhege" ("I want this"), you and your party get to occupy a nice little private room with a round table and a spinning center piece.

This meal was amazing. The green mush at 6 o'clock was some sort of mug bean concoction. 7 o'clock is spicy soba noodles that were the bearers of our first introduction to flower pepper. Flower pepper (aka Szechuan peppers: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Szechuan_pepper) are these peppercorn sized seeds that are firey like black pepper and cloves combined and they leave your mouth with extreme tingle. At first, I was shocked and didn't really like them. Over the past week they have really grown on me. They are, quite literally, a taste sensation. My theory is that they sensitize your mouth to all sorts of other flavours. And they make you gleek. What more could you want in a spice?

Okay folks, there will be more food talk to follow. It's both a promise and a fact.

Nihao! Ting bu dong. Wo shi Jianadaren.

Hello Friends,

Much like every other teacher that moved to China, I am starting up a blog to update about the life and times of a teacher in China. Originally from Saltspring Island, I have spent the last couple of years living in Victoria where I studied Education at UVic and started working as a Teacher-On-Call. But, having a bit of a travelling gypsy soul, I signed up to teach at a BC Offshore School in Weifang, China.  I arrived here about one week ago and my beautiful friends at home set up this blog for me so that I could regale you with tales from the tallest white woman Weifang has ever seen. Of course, this fact cannot be confirmed, but you'd be hard-pressed to find someone to deny it.

First Impressions: Wow. There is a lot going on here. At the same time, it's a pretty quiet town. To be honest, I didn't really know what to expect of China and I'm not much of a researcher either. Everything I knew about Weifang before stepping off the plane was relayed to me from my trusty researching friend, Jess DL. I am quite certain that even after having been here for the week, she still knows more. I can sum up my before arrival knowledge with the following list: Kite Capital of the World, famous for radishes, population of 9 million, there is a Wal-Mart, reasonable bike-able, and something about a diesel refinery.

After week one, I have not seen a single kite, I think I have eaten a radish (there would be know way of knowing what I have and have not eaten over the past week), people are everywhere, I have been to the "Wo-er-ma," people bike everywhere on all sorts of bike contraptions, and no word on the diesel.

My strongest impressions so far:

It's hot. And humid. I think I have been sweating for a week straight. Dripping foreheads, pit stains, back sweat, ass sweat, boob sweet, inner thigh sweat... you name it. It's all the rage here. Sweat actually drips off my body during peak sunshine hours, when eating spicy food, or when trying to engage in any sort of physical activity. On the upside, we're all in this together and I think my pores are mega-cleansed. So yeah, it's hot. It's been above 35 for the whole week and the humidity makes it feel a bit insane.

It's dusty. Weifang is under major construction and, as far as I've heard, constant construction. There are massive apartment buildings and shopping malls being built anywhere you go. So, there is a lot of dust. I've cleaned my apartment almost every day and still, there is dust. The returning teachers tell me that it's only a matter of time before you just give up and accept that yes, your apartment floors are dirty. We'll see.

There are a lot of people but it doesn't really feel crowded. I am not sure if it's the Mexico City in me, but I haven't really felt like there is a lot of people. I mean, yes, you see people everywhere but it doesn't feel crowded in the ways that I expected. The sidewalks are spacious and there are seats on the bus, my apartment is huge and the building isn't full... I suspect that the population of 9 million isn't all in central Weifang, but the surrounding areas. Also, people are friendly and kind but people aren't stopping me in the street to talk. They just gawk. Actually gawk like jaw-dropped, eyes wide open, full, fixated stare. I'm pretty tall and white. They just can't get enough. Also, foreigners travel in packs. It's like a circus. Fair enough, I love staring too.

Bicycles and various incarnations thereof are everywhere! It's awesome. There are electric bikes, wheelbarrow bikes, pedal bikes... you name it. Oh, and you pack that bike with as many people, produce and products as you can possibly carry. No one wears a helmet and there is legit bike traffic and a whole lane that is shared by the bikes and buses. It's awesome. I am looking into getting a bike soon for personal use and I am also considering getting what I have dubbed the "bucket bike" so that I can cart passengers around for the small fee of 1 RMB. I think it will be a hit on our school campus and this way I can pay for lunch.

Food. It's awesome. Ahhhh yes, glorious food. I am loving it. I am going to dedicate a lot of time to telling you people about food. In the meantime, know that it's delish, very meaty, pretty spicy, and there is no cheese in sight.

Wo-er-ma. That's how you say "Wallmart" so that the taxi driver knows what you are saying. Yes, been there, supported the corporation and I am now the proud owner of a sheet and blanket set that says "HOMES" all over it, just in case I didn't know what to do with it. There are several other giant Wallmart-like stores, so I am now frequenting those instead to gradually furnish my apartment with the essentials.

And finally, CHINESE. Wow, I am a bit lost. It's the first time I have been in a place where I really have no idea what people are saying, how to read, how to speak... it's a mixture of unsettling, entertaining, humbling, and exciting. The unsettling and humbling part is when people are trying to ask me or tell me something and all I can say is "ting bu dong" which means "I don't understand." If I am feeling ambitious, I add "Wo shi Jianadaren" which means "I am Canadian." This is to clarify that a) I am not trying to be rude, b) I am not an oversized alien from outer space, and c) I like to think that I'm being a great ambassador for my great home nation. The entertaining and exciting part comes in when I actually pronounce this well enough for people to understand. I have also managed to order a few meals and drinks and direct a cab to my apartment building without using the cheat-sheet that I had written (name of building in Chinese Characters). In short, I have a long way to go with my Chinese studies. It's going to be embarrassing and awesome.

So as far as first impressions go, I think Weifang and I are doing quite well. I will do my best to provide you with updates and anecdotal ramblings but for now, I have to get my beauty rest as tomorrow is the first day of classes. And yes, tomorrow is Sunday. Welcome to China, we don't always follow the same calendar, sometimes we use the lunar calendar too... (details to follow- once I figure them out).